Slept until 10 this morning and it felt good actually. Missing school doesn't affect me much but I did go for the last two hours after lunch.

Spent the entire evening fixing my computer that had gone crazy (well, Andrej did) which has happened two times the last month and now I was sick of it. So now both my harddrives are formated and I have now gone from XP to Windows 7.

Oh, I haven't told you that I'm not a red head anymore have I? I became so damn tired of the dye vanishing slowly because of hairspray and everything else I do with my hair. Now it's brown and beautiful though I miss the red a lot.







It looks kind of orange/red here, but I think these where taken before I dyed it a second time. It's more brown now.
And that's my new wonderful coat! It's absolutely gorgeous! It was expensive but really worth it. Since I'm too lazy to take photos of how it looks with me wearing it - here are the photos from the website:

This blog is crap.
The last weeks I've felt like crap most days. Last week I was in school but left some days because I couldn't stand it anymore and had to sleep. I sleep a lot. Some days I crash in bed for two hours after school. Mostly 'cause I feel like crap and just wants to get away from myself.
This school and class is awful. Really awful. Most people here are idiots and I often wonder if they think or even have brains. Stupid fucks. Fortunately two of the most idiotic people haven't been here for two weeks now.

Wäääh. I can't stand it. But I must stay here and just endure because I have nothing to fall back on. If I quit school I won't be getting any money and now I finally get more money so that I can save for what's coming after school. Oh, after school. Next summer will probably be like hell. Andrej and I are planning, planning, planning. But we end up nowhere because there's really nothing we can do at the moment other than dream about actually getting an apartment, finding jobs or something to study. Bla. No wonder I feel like crap when I walk around thinking about this all the time.

Life sucks most of the times but I'm glad I have Andrej otherwise it would suck completely.
I'm gonna go sleep now.

Last night we played disco bowling and drank lots of beer. Do I need to say that not many cones fell? But we had fun even though the hour went too fast. Also spent some time at a bar waiting for the bus. Great night!

I decided to clean out my bag today after realizing I had a bit too much stuff in it. Since I carry my bag around everywhere I go, there's lots of stuff that aren't very necessary.

This is my bag. It's not too big and not too small so I can stuff lots of things in it. The pins have been on it for years (?) now. I just don't like it plain.


This is what's in my bag:


- One empty envelope with a stamp.
- Two papers from Försäkringskassan (the Insurance Fund)
- Colorful wallet with no money at all in it. Only receipts .
- Lots of bus ride receipts.
- Mints.
- Two combs.
- Small bottle of hairspray.
- Pink cell phone.
- Marlboro cigarettes. But I rarely smoke and it's almost full.
- Keys.
- Small white mirror.
- Tree batteries.
- Camera.
- Two pencils.
- Lip gloss with a taste of strawberry.
- The blue and white thingy. I don't know what it's called in English but it makes your lips soft when they're dry.
- Earrings.
- Hair clip (been in the bag for ages).
- Two pair of gloves.
- Andrej's spectacle case.

Lots of unnecessary things right...

Sorry I've been absent lately - again. I simply don't feel like writing anything. I'm kind of boring I think. Right now I'm surrounded by a haze of booze and it's the middle of the night and I won't sleep for many more hours.

Here's an old picture I found. Can you spot me?

Well, I'm the long haired blond girl in the middle. It was in kindergarten / preschool in like 1992 or 1993. I was really pissed off because I didn't want to have my photo taken so before this I had been hiding in the photographers boxes. At a closer look you can see how mad I am and in the individual photo (which I haven't been able to locate) you can see that even better.

Hhhahaha this article was fun. The stupidest paper we have here in Sweden makes it to this website. How fun! :D

www.informationliberation.com/

(by the way. we always call this paper Aftonhoran (the Evening Whore) for obvious reasons).

I've been playing The Sims 3 all weekend. Damn it's addictive. And I've had it on my computer for months without even starting it. 

Some photos I took of myself last week when my hair was almost freshly dyed and the red was really shining.

I used to dance to this when I was a kid and I thought the man on the vinyl cover looked funny... gosh they're good.

I picked up my new clothes yesterday that I've been waiting for since september 18th when I ordered them. My shoes that I ordered will come even later because they didn't have them in stock. Which made me really sad because of course I want my stuff. The other sad thing is that I have to pick up my things in another part of town which is not that easy for someone without a car or drivers license. So I have to take the bus and walk far far just to pick up a parcel. I'm happy though because the clothes are fantastic! So it wouldn't be more worth it really.

Here they are:
Black velvet dress with four bows (two on each side just were the skirt starts)
Red corset with even more bows :)
Red stay-ups with black net over



Excuse the bad picture. I was exhausted from all the walking and we'd been to the grocery store as well so it was a long evening.

It was extremely hot. We lived in an apartment that looked like a circus. We lived for the nights. Slept during most days. Went crazy some nights. Had fun - even though it was too hot to be able to live. And sitting on rocks, at a playground right next to the police station might not have been very smart.







Weirdest but still the most adorable cat ever. He's called Boris.

It's cold, oh, so cold. Where did the autumn go?

Black hair red hair black hair black hair black hair red hair red hair black hair red hair red hair red hair red hair?

My brain looks something like that at the moment. One part of me wants to keep the red hair and another part of me just wants to get it all black again. I miss the black hair, I really do, but I remember how extremely difficult it was to get the black dye out of the hair. I had to bleach it at least three times before it looked kind of decent, but then I was extreme blond at the roots and red, orange in the tops. Took forever to get my natural hair back. Now I've got red hair even though most of the time it's some weird mix of yellow, orange, red and whatnot. It takes lots of effort to keep extreme red hair the way it should look. Especially when you rape your hair the way I do. Then it doesn't last the 8-10 washes as the package says, but 2-3 before it starts to get orange. It sucks. I love having red hair but I'm too lazy and don't have enough money to buy the bottles to keep it lovely red all the time.

So I'm probably dying it black very soon. Just because I'm lazy  and don't have to dye it as many times when it's black and it doesn't look like I've intentionally dyed it in tree different colors when it's supposed to be one. I hate washed out hair color and black stays black for months.

But then I want to keep it red again. Gah! I know I will change when it's black and then it's kind of too late.

I'm listening to more an more music that I used to listen to. Mostly to Andrej's annoyance. Many of the bands I've slightly started listening to are Swedish and those bands are bands you either love or hate. He hates them, I used to love them and still keep a hate / love relationship to them. A part of me doesn't want to like them just because they've become the type of bands they've become. It's kind of hard to explain. But I can't help but like them. But these bands meant a lot to me during my teens, and I mean A LOT. I listened to them basically all the time, knew all the lyrics by heart, dressed according to the subculture linked to at least two of the bands and felt that they spoke the things I was too afraid to talk about. Oh, how pathetic that sounds but that was me. A confused little teenage me and now I've found it again and it still sounds amazing but now I have another perspective to it all.

First band is kent. I adored this band during a long long time. They were my everything and if you'd see the CDs I have with them, you'd see how much I've listened to them. The booklets are almost falling apart and the Cds have scratches in them from going in and out of the stereo. To me kent is a band that will always be with me even how little I listen to them. I've seen them three times live and would love to see them again. To me, their lyrics mean a lot, and they helped me through hard times. Sadly they aren't what they used to be but I have the memories from the old kent and I will keep them forever. Their best songs don't have a video though but these are great as well.








Second band is a lovely band called Broder Daniel. They are a very special band and have always gone their own way. Which have resulted in not that many albums released. Lead singer Henrik Berggren is one of the most charismatic singers and his lyrics are simple but they have meaning even though naive. The band were famous for having chaotic concerts that mostly never lasted an hour because they destroyed the instruments and they were also famous for destroying hotel rooms. Broder Daniel is also one of few bands (perhaps the only) to create its own subculture. I listened to them very intensive during a long period and, just like it was with kent, they helped me a lot. I don't really know how to explain it all because it's a lot of emotions that I have for this band. They were amazing. Sadly they no longer exist after their guitarist Anders Göthberg killed himself in May 2008. The same summer, the rest of the band played a farewell concert at Way Out West.











And I don't really care that people say that this music (especially Broder Daniel) is for 13-year-olds. Because I like it. I really like it. I still remember what I felt when I listened to it and felt that it was everything in the world and that those words meant everything.

Time passes way too fast and looking through old pictures reminds me of a past I don't know if I really want to remember. I can barely recognize myself to be honest.

In the local grocery store sometime this week.